Is your child being bullied? How to spot the signs

Bullying is more common than some may think, so it’s worth considering it as a possibility. The National Center for Education reports that 19% of American students between the ages of 12 and 18 experience bullying. It can be physical (hitting, pushing, rude hand gestures), verbal (teasing, inappropriate comments, threatening to harm) or virtual (social media). Tricia Schroffner, a PeaceHealth nurse practitioner, gives tips on recognizing the signs of bullying and what to do about it.

Bullying affects everyone

Adolescence is a particularly important time. It’s a time for child development of social maturity like emotional control and connections. Being excluded by someone on purpose, embarrassed by someone in public or talked about through rumors are all examples of social bullying that can be very upsetting for a young person.

We need to work together as a community to stop bullying. October is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, but any time is a good time to shine a light on this important topic.

Bullying doesn't just affect a child's emotional well-being. It can also cause health concerns. This is true whether your child is being bullied, watching the bullying or being the bully. They may be more likely to have depression or anxiety, have changes in sleep or appetite, have trouble with school or be more likely to try tobacco, alcohol or other drugs.

Could your child be getting bullied?

Your child may not want to tell you if they’re being bullied, but there are some signs or clues that may help.

• Are they suddenly acting different? No longer excited about school or finding excuses to stay home from things that they used to like.
• Are they having more stomachaches or not eating like they usually do?
• Are they showing signs of worry or fear like crying more often or getting upset at something unusual?

Stopbullying.gov has great resources to help start the conversation with your child about bullying.

The most important thing is open communication. Let them know they’re cared for and that bullying is unacceptable.

Tips to share with your child

Here are a few ways to help them:

• Continue to ask questions and listen when they’re ready to answer.
• Suggest that they talk to a trusted adult about bullying.
• Offer ways to be safe, like saying “Stop!” or “Leave me alone,” and walking away.
• Encourage them to get involved in positive activities, like sports, music, clubs or youth groups, where they can have fun and make friends with similar interests.

More you can do as a parent

Don’t be afraid to reach out to school staff, including teachers, school bus drivers, counselors and administrators. More and more schools are training staff to recognize bullying and stop it before it starts — but they can’t be effective if they don’t know what’s happening on campus.

And of course, we all need to remember to model good behavior for our young people. As President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Knowing what’s right doesn’t mean much unless you do what’s right.”